Something To Hold On To
by LaueHime
Summary: Written for a prompt on LJ. One-shot. Sam was sick as a kid and Dean got him a teddy bear. Years later, Sam gets sick while at Stanford and it's Jess who's in charge of taking care of him. As Sam is not getting better, he calls for Dean. Jess eventually calls big brother to the rescue. There's a surprise waiting for him when he gets there. Full prompt inside.


**Title: **Something To Hold On To

**Author:** lauehime

**Rating:** PG

**Genre/pairing: **Hurt/comfort, Family, Gen

**Characters:** Sam, Dean, Jess

**Word count: **2,110

**Summary:** Written for tarotgal's prompt on her comment fic meme on LJ "Sam was seriously injured/ill as a child, which required him to be hospitalized for a few days. Dean bought him a stuffed dog to watch over him. Sam pretended to be too old for it at the time, but Dean noticed something in Sam's bag one day and, when he had a chance to secretly investigate, found the old stuffed dog there."

**Disclaimer:** The show belongs to Kripke.

**A/N: **Yeah I've been engaging in memes a lot lately and I love it. I'm trying to post some of the stories I have written here. Tell me if you want me to post more of them. You can find more stories on my LJ page too. I've got the same username up there.

SNSN

Stanford era.

SNSN

Dean thought most of his nights were similar. They all felt lonely. Once the hunt was done, he'd just sit in a bar or in a motel room with his father, planning the next trip.

Still, something was missing in the big picture. There was a gapping hole everywhere he went and it took long enough for him to finally admit that it was the emptiness of his brother's absence that created this hole.

Dean missed Sam more than it was humanly possible to miss someone. That's why, one night, he was surprised to get a call from his brother. But when he picked up, it wasn't his brother's voice that greeted him.

"Are you Dean?" a very feminine voice asked.

"Depends who's asking" he shot back.

He heard her swallow. "My name's Jess. I'm Sam's… girlfriend"

Dean tried to imagine what she looked like by the sound of her voice – southern warm accent, sun-kissed skin, bright smile… "Finally! The lad decided to become a man!" he joked.

Her laugh was forced. Then she started speaking again, but Dean realized it wasn't him she was addressing to. "It's okay, baby. It's your brother on the phone" he heard. Dean frowned when he heard the concerto of sneezes.

"I'm very sorry to call" she finally said.

Dean's heart fluttered. "No, no I don't mind. Is he okay?" he asked instantly on alert. Being a big brother was like riding a bike. No matter how long it had been since last, he always got right back into it when needed.

"Yeah… to be honest, not so much. I wouldn't have called for a common cold, but then Sam spiked a fever and he's been… well… calling for you" she admitted.

"Kid gets loopy when he's hot"

"Look, I hate to ask but…"

"You don't have to" Dean interrupted. "I'm on my way" he added on a softer tone.

"Thank you" she breathed out.

Dean sped all the way down to Palo Alto and parked the Impala in front of Sam's apartment. He shut his phone off, cutting his father from taking him away from his brother.

The girl who stood by the door had to be Jess. Her curly golden buds fell on slouched shoulders. Even with her features pulled from exhaustion, she was still all kinds of beautiful. Dean smiled in amusement. If she hadn't been Sam's… but she was.

"Jess" he blurted out, wide eyes still scrutinizing her.

"Dean" she replied, her tone not so amused and her eyes not so eager. "Thanks for coming" she added.

He nodded and followed her inside.

"What's up with him?"

"At first it wasn't so bad. He was just sneezing a lot. He's got a sensitive nose that is." Dean nodded. His brother had a sensitive _everything_.

"But then he got headaches and they left him exhausted. He's been sleeping through the last few days. And there's the fever. It started yesterday, but spiked last night through this morning" she explained.

"Did you give him anything?" Dean asked.

She nodded. "I gave him everything! I got him grape antihistaminic syrup at first, because he begged for it" she started. Dean snorted at that, recognizing his Sam.

"But then it wasn't strong enough so I gave him the extra strong adult ones, that and aspirin and nasal sprays… then I tried to give him warm tea with honey for his throat, but he's still not getting better"

"Did he eat?" Dean continued, in order to triage the situation.

"Not much. He doesn't want anything and he's so big I can't force anything into him. I've really tried" she assured.

"I know" Dean said simply.

They reached what Dean assumed was their bedroom. He poked his head inside to a very familiar scene. He'd seen it many times over the years. Sam was sprawled all over the bed, his longs limbs tangled into the bedspread. His mop of dark hair clung to his head with sweat.

But something else caught Dean's attention. Jess saw what Dean was staring at.

"Yeah there's that. He's been clinging to this weird teddy bear all week. Very characteristic of a gigantic college student, right?" she attempted, trying to sound humorous.

Dean didn't reply. He stared at the small stuffed bear that his little brother was clinging onto, his eyes haunted by something she couldn't define.

"Jess, go make some soup. Make it tomato and rice. Get some apple juice too" he commanded.

She nodded and left. Dean sat next to his brother on the bed. He found the thermometer on the night stand and put it in his brother's ear. He got a reading of 102.

"Well, Sammy. You don't do things halfway do you?" he whispered.

There was slight shifting and then… "D'n?"

Dean peeked at the sweaty brown mop and found the pair of incredulous glassy hazels that were staring back at him. He couldn't help but smile.

"Yeah, kiddo. I'm right here. Your lovely girlfriend called me" he explained.

"D'n I'b… _iitchuh! Ikschuh! Ixghshuh! Guh!_"

Dean grabbed the tissues and handed them to his brother. Sam was too weak to hold his own weight. Dean grimaced as he helped his brother up and supported Sam's shaky fingers. The youngest blew his nose as best as he could.

"'b sick" Sam finished.

"I know, Sammy. We'll get you better" he promised.

Sam nodded and let his head fall against his brother's chest. Dean propped Sam up so that he could wrap his arms around him. His little brother started to shiver now that he was out of the bedspread. Dean grabbed it and wrapped his brother up like a Christmas present.

He started rocking the both of them. When Jess came up with the soup, that's how she found them.

"Did he wake up?" she asked.

"Just long enough to say hi and then sneeze all over me" Dean said with a slight smile.

Jess put the soup down.

"He really misses you, you know" she started softly. Her eyes were bright. Dean felt his heart melt.

"I miss him too. All the time. But he's got you now, right" he replied. She bowed her head, feeling like an intruder now that she really had a close look on them.

"Yeah, but you're still the one he wants when he's sick" she noted sadly.

"You did good! But Sammy's got this thing when he's sick… he's like a big kid, you know"

She smiled, her eyes turning back up to find his. At least he wasn't trying to exclude her.

"'m not a big kid" Sam mumbled, half asleep.

Dean giggled. "Yeah, don't try to deny it, princess. You'll only hurt yourself" he teased. Sam snorted in his signature fashion.

"Time to get some food into that gigantic body of yours" the eldest announced.

Sam pouted. "'m not hungry" he whined.

"I wasn't asking, Samantha. If you keep losing weight, you'll really turn into a girl" Dean teased, which got Jess giggling.

Sam huffed, but he stopped arguing. She couldn't believe how easily he gave in to his brother. "What is it?" Sam asked.

Dean smiled victoriously. "Your amazing girlfriend made you tomato and rice soup"

Something flashed on Sam's face and Jess couldn't tell what exactly.

"Help me?" Sam mumbled. Dean seemed to understand everything his brother said, sometimes even before Sam did.

"Sure. Let's get you sitting up so you don't get soup all over yourself like a big toddler"

Dean held Sam up and helped with the soup. Jess observed them. Eventually, she felt ready to take over. Dean entrusted her with the spoon and focused on holding Sam's weight.

"Hey Sammy, you thirsty?" Dean asked when he saw that no more soup would pass his brother's lips. He pointed the apple juice and Jess nodded.

"I got you some apple juice" she said joyfully. Sam smiled with his eyes at half mast.

"I love you" he replied drunkenly, his eyes still drooping. Jess smiled right back and mouthed a thank you in Dean's direction.

"I love you too, baby. Here, drink this" she offered, supporting the glass while Sam drank.

He was fast asleep after that, clutching the stuffed bear to his chest. Jess smiled at how small, yet adorable, her boyfriend looked.

"You guys must have done this a lot. I can't believe how you seem to know him so well" Jess admitted, turning jealous eyes to Dean. The eldest was brushing his brother's hair.

"Sam got really sick once, when he was a kid. Bad case of pneumonia. He had to spend days in the hospital. Kid wouldn't eat or sleep unless he was physically forced to… it got pretty touch and go for a while" Dean started to tell; the memories he was the only one to see hanging somewhere above them.

"He would only start to feel better when I was around, but I couldn't always be there… I had school…" Dean continued, the shadow of guilt tainting his voice.

"It wasn't your fault. I'm sure you did everything you could for him" Jess assured.

Dean stopped stroking his brother's bangs and stared at the bear.

"I got him this bear. Told him he'd watch over him for me when I couldn't be around. He laughed and said he was too old for this" Dean remembered, his eyes slowly watering at the sight of his twenty year old brother, sleeping with the old teddy bear pressed against his chest.

Jess smiled, her own eyes watering. She turned to take a look at her boyfriend and the way he held on to the bear. She recounted all the times she'd seen Sam with it, now that she knew what the bear meant to him. She had teased him a lot, always playfully but still, he'd never been ashamed to take it out when he needed it. She realized it was Sam's way of dealing with his brother's absence.

"At least, through the bear, you've been with him all along" she finally whispered.

Dean turned his head away from her. She thought maybe he wanted to cry and didn't want her to see. When he turned back, his eyes were clear. There were so many questions she still wanted to ask. Sam had never really opened up about his family. But Dean looked like he'd done enough sharing for the night and she didn't want to pry.

"You can come back whenever you want. Sam would like that and I'd be so happy to know more about his family" she proposed.

Dean snorted. "I'm not sure you want to know"

Her smile faltered. "Why would you say that?"

Dean shook his head. "I don't know how much Sam's told you, but what he didn't might be better left unsaid"

She didn't push.

When Sam woke up the next morning, he was coherent and his fever was down. He frowned when he saw Dean hanging around his kitchen, having coffee.

"Dean? What are you doing here?"

Dean turned surprised eyes to him. Obviously Sam didn't remember much about the last night.

"I was just passing by to see if you were okay" he replied.

Sam nodded. He turned to Jess with questioning eyes, but his girlfriend looked just as mysterious.

"Well, I'm good. Thanks for asking. And I'm staying here, if you know what I mean" Sam stated.

Dean nodded. "Of course you are. Besides, you've got good company" Dean replied, turning to Jess. The girl blushed and smiled.

"Yeah, I do"

Dean nodded. "Well I better go, then. Take care of yourselves, kids. See you around, Sammy"

Sam was left puzzled and Jess didn't really know how to react. While fevered, Sam had asked for Dean. Now that her boyfriend's head was clear, he seemed to be awkward around his big brother. She thought back to what Dean had said about their family and finally decided that it may be better if she didn't ask.

"Want some soup?" she asked instead.

"Uh, yeah" he accepted.

When she served the leftover of tomato and rice soup, his eyes widened in surprise.

"What is it, honey?"

He shook his head and smiled. "Nothing… it's... the soup… just like my mom used to make"

Her heart melted for the guy she was so in love with.

Sam suddenly grimaced and she knew what was coming. _Itchuh! Igxtshuh! Ixshnt! Egtchuh! _

Jess was already by his side with a carton box of Kleenexes. He blew his nose and smiled.

"God, I love you!" he exclaimed, which made her heart melt some more.

That night, Sam picked up the stuffed bear and cradled it to his chest.


End file.
